Well, you say you only watch documentaries

And that bad cold you've got, that's the flu

And the book that you foisted upon me

I'll never read it, will you?

Did you play in the Garden of Eden

Where the goalkeeper's gloves were tossed?

'Cos it seems to me you're the reason

You're the reason why paradise's lost

♪

Was it you who invented the school run

At the Laboratoires Garnier Gall?

And is it you who's too stoned for the motorway cone

Barry Bennison and Davina McCall?

Did you play in the Garden of Eden

Where the goalkeeper's gloves were tossed?

'Cos it seems to me you're the reason

You're the reason why paradise's lost

Well, we've both seen your personalised dredge plate

And it's not the worst crime, I agree

But we both know full well it really should spell

T.W.A.T.O.N.E

Did you play in the Garden of Eden

Where the goalkeeper's gloves were tossed?

'Cos it seems to me you're the reason

You're the reason why paradise's lost

You're the reason why paradise's lost

You're the reason why paradise's lost